As you struggle, in what seems to be in vain, it may begin to feel as if your very sanity is on the line. This doesn't just pertain to the pursuit of telekinesis, but can occur with any goal you are pursuing where you must reach for new heights. This is because of a conflict that begins to occur within. A divide between what you want, and what you've been told or have at least come to believe. It's kind of like two views that you hold within. One is where you can, and one is where you can't.
In the case of telekinesis, one view may be that you can, and you want to achieve it, and believe it, and move forward with it. The other however, is likely a view based around how others would view the same phenomena, as fake. As a psychological effect or trick of the mind that you managed to perpetrate on yourself. Likely, your mind will struggle between the two, going back and forth between them, consciously or subconsciously, trying to determine which one it really is. Real, or fake.
As this happens, you may also find that other areas of your life and mind may begin to divide as well. Things you used to have no trouble with, seem a little more complicated now than they aught to be. I liken this effect to a tug-of-war. Where in an effort to figure out which one it is, your mind takes up two sides, and begins pulling. The goal is to see which one gives way first, and therefore the winner is most likely to be true.
In the middle is the rope, and the rope best represents your mind in the middle of the two pulls. It stretches and begins to thin, weakening as this process goes along. At some point it gets taxed so much with you caught in the middle, that it begins to feel as if your very sanity is on the line. It is usually at this point that you are faced with a choice. That this playing in the middle is getting you nowhere, and you can either turn back, or forge forward.
Most people if they make it to this point, turn back. They take a look at all the efforts they put in, the lack of progress made, deem it either too hard or simply fake, and walk away. But this edge is actually an opportunity. Although it may not feel much like one. Given that emotionally and mentally you've pushed back and forth trying to figure out how it works.
But that's the problem. Most play both sides of the fence trying to sift out which is true and which is false, and when a winner arises, they can hop on that side. But this is far less involvement then it sounds. To keep an arms reach between yourself and your goal in order to avoid a risk of being ridiculed. Because to fully invest yourself would be to believe in it, and yourself, and your experiences, fully. Without looking back or over your shoulder to see if maybe you were mistaken. Because if you were, you'd feel like a fool. The fool who tricked themselves into believing in fairy tales.
So you hold yourself back. Consciously or subconsciously. To avoid such risks. And therefore get in your own way. Pushing forward and pulling back at the same time. Your mind is the perfect opponent to stop you dead in your tracks, as it is exactly as strong as you. But it also divides you in two, and the two halves fight. But in order to achieve new heights, you must be one. Only all of you can reach the top, as a single directed force.
To become a single directed force, you must first start small and take baby steps. I say slow because the faster you try to achieve results, the more likely you are to find yourself frustrated. In the strangest way, working slowly is the fastest route. Likely because patience with yourself and your growth, can do wonders. But in short, this is a leap of faith. In this case, it is likely knowledge that you're after, and true knowledge can only be attained through direct experience. But the experience can't be had if you're keeping it at arms reach. And you're probably keeping it at arms reach because you're not sure if you should trust it or not.
So allow me to end with a question. Does it matter if it is an illusion or not? This is not to say that it is an illusion by any means. But if it were, would it matter? This is the same question I posed to myself. I had ridden the fence for long enough without even realizing it. But when I did, I had to face this choice. This risk that it could all be in my head, and I may just be fooling myself if I decide to jump in with both feet.
But I also posed another question to myself. If I did, what would it do for me? I had believed in it all my life almost instinctually or intuitively. And I knew if I just allowed myself to believe, I would feel freer and happier. And there it was. At least for me. That in the end, real or fake, letting go and allowing myself to believe in and accept something that I've always felt was true, despite popular opinion against it, would indeed put a smile on my face. And that, to me, was well worth it.
From there, I stopped caring if people believed in it, too. Or if they thought it was the most ridiculous or even childish thing to pursue. I didn't care if they thought I was stupid for it, or tried to attack it, or me. This even includes negativity from myself. Because it wasn't about them. It was about me. It was about what believing and practicing and pursuing telekinesis did for me. It was about a journey into a place within, that frankly, I think they are too afraid to go themselves. That's why it was worth it for me.
And it turned out that I was right. My failures, my lack of progress and results, was due to me getting in my own way. Keeping everything at arms reach. Never fully investing into my dreams because of the fear of losing myself and being ridiculed. Which actually didn't happened.
The same is true for you, if you're interested. You are the epicenter of your life, and everything about you, comes down to you. So I ask you, is it worth it?
Till Next Time!